Well, I haven’t written anything for a while. I haven’t really had anything I needed to get off my chest but I thought I’d write an update.

Chris has been fairly stable. It’s been lovely actually. He moved in June and I think it’s done him the world of good. Sadly it coincided with my weight loss surgery so I couldn’t help but it’s a great place. He’s a bit further along the coast and has natural light in abundance. He’s waking up in the morning (rather than afternoon) and gets tired about midnight.

My surgery has been a success. I’ve lost over five and a half stone now and I’m starting to look, well, normal. I feel taller and look better. The best thing about it is that my asthma has completely disappeared and taken with it my chronic back pain, acid reflux and high blood pressure. I can walk again! I feel like a new person. Sadly Chris hasn’t been particularly supportive but I can’t say I’m shocked. He appears to fancy me again, which is really not good. We are not going on that merry-go-round again.

Three weeks ago the new man ended it. He said he didn’t see a future with me as his girlfriend. I, of course, already knew this. I didn’t have a problem with it and would have told him if he’d actually spoken to me but, he didn’t. I woke up to a Dear John text message.

Oh well. Next victim please. ­čśë


Erratic thoughts

I can’t seem to hold on to any thought for longer than a few seconds at the moment.┬áSurgery is a little over two weeks away. The new chap and I have decided we are in a relationship (after I plucked up the courage to ask). Chris is looking for a new home after being evicted by his new landlord, who wants to put the rent up by around 50%, and I’ve taken my flat off the market.

I’m quite happy currently with Tom. We have nice times together and we are sexually compatible. I see him a few times a week. Lately we have gone to his more than mine. I can’t sleep there and I have experienced a severe allergic reaction to his sofa. I had to ask him if I could replace it as I really can’t live covered in hundreds of itchy red blotches. He is struggling to find work, which is getting him down.

He’s also really worried about my surgery. I had made a conscious decision to not look for a new partner until it was over with as I didn’t want to put them through it. He came about at a lousy time and I feel terrible for him but he understands why. He says I’m gorgeous as I am, which is, of course, lovely to hear, even if I think he’s deluded. Chris, on the other hand, doesn’t want to see me during the pre-op diet (which I start on Monday), or for a few weeks after. Somehow this means he’s being supportive!

I’m nervous about it. I’m scared for the future as food has been so important throughout my life. My friends are taking me out for my last meals. I think they are more upset by it than I am. I think, in general, things are pretty good for me right now. I’m not used to that. I have been through hell to get here. It would be nice if I could relax and enjoy it, but I know that will never happen!

Erratic thoughts