I’ve been feeling for a while that Chris and I have been getting closer again. We split up about three and a half years ago and, after some soul-searching, we stayed close. Most people who meet us assume we are a couple and we always correct them, unless it’s convenient to “use” the other one to get out of a situation.
I decided to bring it up today. I have been thinking things have been different for a couple of weeks and I was a bit sick of it screaming in my head. He was his usual self. We perhaps exchanged half a dozen sentences. It went something like:
Me: I feel we have got closer again and I thought we should talk about it.
Him: Yeah, I thought that too. Does it bother you? Do you want to pull back?
Me: No. I just thought that maybe we should see if we are on the same page. I’m not looking for anyone else as I don’t feel I am emotionally available.
Him: Yeah. I’m so pleased my friend is blah blah blah
If he ends up talking about something emotional, he generally changes the subject so this is nothing new. It’s infuriating but standard.
When people meet Chris for the first time, they think he’s amazing. He’s a great singer and is good looking, funny, very talented and comes across as wealthy and stable. He’s an exceptionally good actor. He met someone a couple of weeks ago and she’s totally fallen for him. She is responding to the actor side of him, rather than the actual him. She’s decided he can take her away from her boring marriage (not to mention the two small children). She knows I exist as she met me the same day she met him. When I found out about his other women last time, I got this physical feeling in the bottom of my stomach. It’s back again. I told him it had returned and could it be related to her, as I am aware of her feelings for him (and another girl who appears to be obsessed if Facebook is anything to go by). He said he wasn’t interested in either girl and not to worry.
We are off to London tomorrow to see a show so I’ll bring it up again. Part of me thinks this is a really bad idea. The other part says we have been kicking about now for five and a half years and there must be something in that.